Starting a conversation on WhatsApp in an engaging way has become a real headache for many. How many conversations are initiated only to go unanswered? If you’re single, you definitely know what I’m talking about… Flirting on WhatsApp can sometimes be a real mess.
In this article, we’ll explore how to initiate WhatsApp conversations by adapting to the situation and communicating creatively to foster positive emotions, thus paving the way for a longer and more engaging conversation.
Observe to know what to say
Observation will guide us in knowing how to proceed at each moment. This model is not a step-by-step method; rather, it is we, through our own intelligence and intuition, who decide what to do and what to say at any given time, thus following our own style in accordance with our personality.
The important thing is that what we say responds to the needs and interests of the interaction itself—both ours and those of the person we want to seduce.
So whenever we start a conversation on WhatsApp, there will always be conditions that justify our actions: Why are we starting this conversation, and what is its purpose? What has happened before that justifies it?
The first thing to do is identify the context in which you find yourself.
Starting a WhatsApp conversation with someone you already know well is different than starting one with someone you barely know. The message itself, as well as how you understand it, will vary. Therefore, let’s look at some tips and examples for the most common scenarios.
Start the conversation if you know her from a single encounter
This is the most common scenario. You might have met this person at a club or during the day, perhaps flirting with them or being introduced to them. Let’s say you only saw them once, and the contact was strong enough to get their WhatsApp number.
In this situation, we need to consider what has already happened. It’s not the same if we’ve already kissed her or talked to her for hours, as if she gave us her phone number after only 5 minutes of conversation.
The more time we’ve invested beforehand, the better they’ll know you and the more likely they are to reply. Especially if you’ve established an emotional connection.
It will affect what you say. But if they barely know you, a lack of response wouldn’t be surprising. Which doesn’t mean they didn’t like you at the time…
Start the conversation if we know very little about her
Let’s imagine that a friend introduced us to her, we talked to her for 10 minutes, and asked for her phone number.
In this case, we should start the conversation cautiously and remember who we are.
—Hi Maria. It’s David, Juan’s friend. I just remembered you, and not even the Viking god Odin could stop me from asking how your week is going.
—Hahaha, yes, I remember you. How’s it going? My week is pretty boring. Lots of exams are coming up, and lots of time is being spent cooped up inside.
Start the conversation if the first meeting was relatively long
Now imagine we met her at a nightclub and asked for her number after talking to her for a while. There was already a connection between us, and things were looking good. This example would also apply if we ended up kissing her.
“Hi Gabriela, it’s David. I need to ask you something that’s been on my mind.”
“Hi David, how are you? I already noticed the other day that you were being a bit too reflective, haha. Okay, surprise me.
” “Well, you see… I need one of your recipes. I can’t stop thinking about how I felt the other day when I looked at you. The depth of your eyes has made my head spin even more. So tell me, what’s the secret to getting it back?”
“Hahaha. You’re certainly not exaggerating. I think a little lemon and salt on your eyes every half hour will make you forget all about it, hahaha.”
“Mmm, I think I prefer other kinds of physical remedies. I don’t trust homemade concoctions…”
The more special and meaningful the first meeting was, the more confidently you could and should start the conversation on WhatsApp.
Start the conversation if we already know each other
Starting a WhatsApp conversation with someone you’ve already spoken to and have a certain level of trust with isn’t rocket science. The key to these WhatsApp conversations is sparking their interest and knowing when to ask for a date.
Above all, remember that you should never ask for a date right at the start of the conversation, but rather after having a pleasant, even brief, conversation for a while.
Re-establishing a previous contact
There will be situations where we’re interested in reconnecting. For example, guys and girls we’ve talked to before, things didn’t work out, and now we want to try again. It might even be an ex-partner, or perhaps it was just a casual interaction where they stopped replying to our WhatsApp messages.
In this case, I recommend using humor to encourage her to reply, so we can reopen the case that seemed closed. Because if it’s difficult in court, it’s just as difficult flirting on WhatsApp.
—Hey! Hi Cristina! How are you? I haven’t spoken to you since the dinosaurs went extinct. I really miss those little critters! Did you finally get that job you wanted?
—Hi David!! Leave the dinosaurs alone, for goodness sake. They had enough to deal with, haha. No, I didn’t get it in the end. But anyway, I started a master’s program, and I’m really happy about it.
In this example, you can see that we lower defenses with humor and inject energy into the message. Some people simply say “hello, how are you?” almost nervously. But it’s very easy to ignore a message like that. In this situation, to successfully start a WhatsApp conversation, it’s important to build trust so you can regain it over time. If you find it difficult to write these kinds of messages, try developing your sense of humor; it’s easier than it seems.
To start a conversation after an argument
Misunderstandings, ego clashes, and general bad vibes sometimes happen. Therefore, starting a WhatsApp conversation after an argument requires first trying to close the door on what caused the hurt. In other words, we need to heal the wounds with a little assertive communication.
—Hi Maria. I know we argued the last time we spoke, and honestly, I’ve been thinking about it a lot, and I’ve realized it was largely my fault. I apologize. I’ve always thought the most important thing in life is to enjoy the present, and that arguing is a waste of time. But sometimes my pride gets the better of me. Also, know that I really miss your mischievous smile, the one you give me when you’re playing a prank on me. I’d love to see it right now.
—Hi David. To be honest, I don’t think I was a saint either. You went too far, but I could have handled it better too. As you said, it’s best to enjoy the moment; that’s what’s important. And let’s see if next time, instead of arguing, we can laugh and avoid any unpleasantness. As for my smile, you’ll see it soon, because I have a really mean joke up my sleeve to make you pay for this, hahaha.
In this example, we can see how we apologize, emphasize a higher purpose (enjoying the present moment is what’s important), and then ease the tension with a bit of humor. In this way, we apologize and create a way to start a new chapter and rebuild a positive relationship.
30 ways to start a conversation with a man
The idea that the man should initiate the conversation is a myth. Some women prefer to wait for the guy they like to approach them with a seduction technique or an interesting conversation.
But there are others, increasingly numerous, who, instead of waiting around, prefer to take a chance and make the first move. But how? Here are 30 ways to start a conversation with the guy they like. And maybe it will be the beginning of a love story…
- Where are you from?
- How do you know who is playing at home (in the match)?
- Did you watch last night’s game (basketball, soccer, etc.)?
- Do you have any pets?
- So, why did you decide to come to this bar/club?
- Have you traveled anywhere cool lately?
- Do you speak other languages?
- What have you done this summer? Partyed all night or didn’t go out all day?
- Who is on your favorite football team?
- I can’t wait for all my favorite TV shows to start their new seasons. I’m obsessed with “How I Met Your Mother”—are you?
- What is your specialty?
- I really like what you’re wearing. Is that a t-shirt?
- Where do you like to hang out after work?
- How old are you?
- What’s your favorite place to eat?
- This game needs better music. Why don’t we make a playlist on my phone to play to?
- If you were stranded on a desert island, what three things would you take?
- What would be the title of your autobiography?
- What’s your favorite drink?
- What was the last movie you watched?
- What did you want to be when you were a child?
- Ugh, remember the 90s? What was your best memory?
- Can you believe the NHL strike? It’s worse than last year’s NBA strike!
- That colored shirt looks great on you. Fun fact: it’s actually my favorite color. What’s yours?
- Do you have siblings?
- If your life were a movie, which actor would play you?
- If you could have one superpower, what would it be?
- What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?
- What has been the most embarrassing moment of your life?
- Okay, let’s clear things up: if you could have dinner with three people, who would they be?
Generating emotions when starting a conversation on WhatsApp
As I usually explain in my seduction courses, once we’ve identified the context we’re in, we can choose which emotions to generate based on the four components we mentioned earlier. Let’s take a brief look at what this entails!
Trivial conversation
Small talk is communication without emotion. It differs from the other components in that it doesn’t fulfill any specific emotional need or motivation. We use it as a basis for talking about anything while trying to qualify someone, create a romantic connection, or sexualize them, so that we can seduce the other person.
Examples to start a conversation with small talk
—Hi, how are you? How was your day? I almost died of heat. The sun is relentless. If it goes up there, it’ll be sorry!
—Congratulations! I saw on Facebook that you finished your degree. How does it feel? When I finished mine, I could hardly believe it. It’s a completely different atmosphere, haha.
—Hi Maria! How are you? I loved meeting you last night. I can’t wait to ask you out, for you to say no, and then to keep asking as we get to know each other better.—Life is smiling on me. I passed my exam on Friday! I’m the best, and roses are blooming all around me.
And we could go on like this forever. The idea is to start the conversation in a nonchalant way, subtly, and with trivial topics, often referencing a current situation we’re experiencing.
The key here is once again to be creative when writing and try to grab attention. As we mentioned when explaining the AIDA model in other articles, the goal is to become more articulate and create a good vibe right from the start.
Even talking about the weather can be fun (see the first example). If you train your communication skills, you’ll always come up with a subtle way to start conversations without resorting to the usual boring stuff.
Qualification
When we talk about qualification, we’re referring primarily to giving compliments, both personal and physical, and knowing how to talk about ourselves. In this case, it means starting the conversation by telling the other person what we like about them.
What we’re aiming for is to create an emotional impact by making her feel valued and supported. If done well, we’re guaranteed a response. Who turns their back on candy? Nobody.
Now, you’ll have to learn to give praise in a precise and genuine way that generates positive emotions. Avoid giving insincere compliments that sound like you’re just trying to flirt when you don’t really mean them.
Examples of how to start a WhatsApp conversation with compliments
—Hi Maria, how are you? I just saw your Instagram photos from your trip to Salamanca. You always have that smile and sparkle in your eyes, huh? I almost called the devil and made a deal to take me there with you. Enjoy Salamanca, but above all, enjoy that joy you radiate…
—Anaaaaaaaaa, how are you? I’ve been thinking about you a lot. You wouldn’t believe the mess I made at work. My boss really gave me a hard time… But I remembered what we talked about the other day about staying calm, and in the end we sorted everything out. If it weren’t for your emotional wisdom, who knows what I would have done, hahaha. I owe you a beer.
Emotional or romantic communication
Emotional or romantic communication seeks to create loving bonds. It’s like looking for evidence that the universe says you were destined to be together.
To begin a conversation using this type of communication, it’s clear that a romantic connection must already exist. This type of communication is ideal with girls or guys with whom you’re starting a relationship, or with whom you had a very passionate first encounter.
Examples to start a romantic WhatsApp conversation
–Good evening! I hope you’re doing well, Ana. I’ve been thinking about you a lot this week. Your lips, the way you looked at me, how you touched me… I think we had a very special moment on Saturday, and I’m dying to do it again. I never imagined I could feel something like that.
–Hi Nicole, I think you’re making me lose my bearings a bit. Since we met, you’ve completely changed my perspective. I wanted to tell you. I can’t wait to get lost again in those caramel lips. Sweet, as sweet as you are. All of you.
Sexualization
Through sexualization, we aim to generate sexual tension on WhatsApp using only our words. We employ subtle innuendos and sexually suggestive language. We can even use emotional communication to amplify the effect. Anything that sounds sexual and creates tension will be as welcome as a refreshing rain on a parched field.
However, be careful. It’s not advisable to start a conversation by sexualizing things when the level of trust isn’t high enough, or if we might give the impression that we’re only talking to that person for purely sexual reasons.
For example, after sleeping with a girl on the first night. In those cases, it’s best to start the conversation by leaving sex aside and rebuilding that tension once we’re sure she feels comfortable with us. We should try to avoid making her feel slutty or used when we didn’t intend for her to feel that way.
Examples of how to start a WhatsApp conversation by using sexual language
—What a week I’ve had. I need to lose myself in your mermaid hair to forget everything. If we see each other this weekend, I promise to be good some of the time, and very bad the rest. In both cases, with little space between us.
—Hi Marta, I hope you’ll allow me to tell you that I have absolutely no desire to be politically correct with you. I want to feel you. All of you are against me. To brush against your thighs. To lose myself in your legs. To touch your breasts and become fond of a peaceful game with your lips. Perhaps I’m being too bold, but I’m actually feeling sincere.
Conveying sexual tension and knowing how to play with double entendres is vital for making conversations more entertaining and seductive. You can find good examples of this in my erotic stories, or if you prefer, I can teach you this skill myself in my social skills courses.
If you’re worried about making the other person uncomfortable, use skills like empathy to anticipate how they might feel and prepare yourself for rejection. This will allow you to use those rejections to your advantage by showcasing attractive personality traits.
This will give you more confidence to resolve any misunderstandings that may arise. Which, by the way, will give you a real boost… Because the better our social skills are, the less afraid we are to communicate, and the more freely we can do so.