Last week, I told you what you can do when the change you want doesn’t come, since it’s important to take the process calmly so you don’t get frustrated.
But that doesn’t mean you should give up or stop trying. To make your dream a reality, you have to work for it.
For example, I want to have a thriving company with about 5 or 8 employees. That’s not possible right now. The truth is, to reach that point, I’ll need time. During this time, it will be essential that I continue working on myself and, at the same time, do what’s necessary to attract abundance and collaborators.
But I’m getting ahead of myself. I’d rather explain the first step to manifesting what you desire and then move on to the next two.
In fact, the process of manifesting change is sometimes linked to abundance. So, if this topic is important to you, I recommend this reading. Understanding this chain has actually helped me recognize that I am rich in many ways.
1. Be what you want to be
This is the most important step, and the one most often overlooked. Without it, nothing you do will matter.
For your desires to materialize, you first have to feel them in your life. For example, if you want to feel abundant, you first have to feel abundance within yourself. And you might be thinking: how can I feel abundant if I only have €20 in my account? (I understand, it’s happened to me too).
Abundance is much more than money. Abundance is maintaining happy relationships, a family you trust, job satisfaction, self-care, and connection with yourself. Or whatever is important to you. Maybe you need adventure, or travel, or privacy.
And the same thing that happens with abundance is transferred to the rest of the issues. How can you know yourself if you are not self-awareness? How can you have a successful business if you are not an entrepreneur? How can you have a loving partner if you are not love itself?
Think for a moment: Do you feel within yourself what you desire? If you don’t feel it, you need to identify how you are consciously or unconsciously hindering yourself from feeling a certain way.
You may believe you are unworthy, that you are bad, that you are not enough, that all men are immature, etc. Or, perhaps, the problem lies in wanting to remain faithful to your family. When you find out what’s preventing you from feeling the way you want, you’ll have to work to change those old habits.
2. Act from what you feel
Once you feel it within yourself, it’s time to take action. Because things don’t just happen on their own, no matter how much you want them to.
In fact, skipping this step is the biggest problem with the law of attraction. That’s why I disagree with it. To explain what this “doing” entails, a very bad joke that I was once told comes to mind.
Each day, a woman would go to pray in front of the altar: “Please, Jesus, my love, let me win the lottery, please, let me win.” Day after day. It was never his turn. Until one day the statue of Jesus opened its eyes and said: “But buy a ticket so you have a chance to win!”
The woman in this story was asking for what she wanted, but she wasn’t fulfilling her part of the bargain.
In doing this, it is essential to take a few risks.
As I’ve mentioned on more than one occasion, one of the topics I’ve been addressing and continue to address most intensely lately is abundance. (That’s why I talk about it so much.) Today, I feel abundant. However, I’m still learning how to “do.”
A significant part of what I’m doing is related to my work. And, since I’m quite diligent, I’m fulfilling that part of the agreement. But this month I took a risk in one specific area: investing in my physical appearance. Let me get a little “superficial” to explain the risk I took.
For a long time now, I haven’t felt comfortable in my clothes. Most of them are years old and out of style. The nicest ones were gifts. It had been ages since I’d paid for my clothes. Last year I only bought a €3 t‑shirt at the flea market and some €7 tights for a wedding. Apart from that, I can’t remember the last time I went shopping.
So at the beginning of this month I told myself: hey, I’m going to take advantage of the sales and buy myself one or two sweaters at most. I had set a spending limit and I wasn’t willing to go over it.
But alas! I went into a store and fell in love with three sweaters and a pair of trousers. The total cost was double the limit I had set for myself. I hesitated a lot, I thought about which clothes to leave behind, Miguel was willing to give me a piece of clothing, I continued to hesitate and, finally, I made a decision: I was going to pay for everything myself. No gifts, no giving up those clothes.
For me, paying that amount of money for clothes was a risk. But I decided to trust that this was what I had to do. I had to overcome my fear of paying for something “superficial,” and besides, I was prepared to swipe my card with a smile. (Isabel was the one who taught me how important it is to smile every time you pay.)
Do you know how this story ends? This month I’ve billed much more than expected — double what I’ve been earning in recent months. It was a complete surprise to me, as some of the invoices were totally unexpected. Apparently, buying four items of clothing isn’t exactly living in abundance. But for me, it has been.
So, you know, if you want something to come into your life, do your part. If you want to get to know yourself, go to therapy or sign up for self‑awareness courses. If you want a successful business, work like an entrepreneur. If you want to win the lottery… you’d be better off investing that money in something else.
3. Be based on who you already are and what you do
We’ve reached the final point. The most desired and anticipated. This is when what you’ve longed for arrives.
When you follow these steps, the essential thing to learn is that: having what you need is having everything.
I like this phrase (which I took from an Audi ad), because it allowed me to reflect on the following question: If you don’t have what you want, perhaps it’s because you need to go through this period of scarcity. If you need to go through it, what can you learn from this situation?
I’m referring to the obstacles that come your way, those that help you become the person who can have what you want.
A common obstacle is learning to receive. How can you have if you struggle to receive? I know this is common in many people, because it is part of certain character structures (in a few weeks, when we discuss relationships, I will tell you what character structures are).
For now, I suggest that you also reflect on the relationship you have between giving and receiving.
Once you have overcome the obstacles and become the person who has what you long for, you may no longer desire it so intensely because you will have realized that you already have it.
Imagine the shift from thinking “I don’t deserve this” to feeling that you already have it to some degree. Imagine the difference between thinking you’re spending money on a course or a piece of clothing and recognizing that you’re investing in yourself. Imagine letting go of the idea that everything should be free and understanding that money is simply an exchange of energy.
If you can feel and act from your desires, I’m sure you won’t have to wait for them to come into your life to be happy. After all, isn’t happiness the most important thing?
That concludes the 3 steps. As you can see, personal work remains fundamental in this process.
Now I’d like to hear your thoughts: What do you want right now? What stage are you at? What obstacles do you think will help you become the person who has achieved it?